Adios, Gustav

I don't even know where to begin with this post. It's hard to collect my thoughts. I sit here on "Evacuation Eve" thinking one minute that I'm ready to go, thinking the next minute that I am not. The last couple of days have been exhausting emotionally and physically. But they probably hail in comparison to what the next few days will hold. I am not a 'stress' type, I'm really not. I generally feel like I roll with the punches and when there are things I can't control, it doesn't effect me too much. But tonight, I feel completely different than that. I haven't slept well for a couple of nights because I lay there mentally making lists of things I don't want to leave behind. Thinking of things the kids will need during a potentially very very long evacuation car ride. Coming up with the perfect way to pack the car so necessities will be at arm's reach. And deciding what "possessions" really are important to me. Thanks to my dad, I think I inherited a knack for making a lot of things fit into a small space, so I think I'll be able to take the things I have set aside. How do you lock the door and leave, not knowing when you'll return or what you'll return to (or won't return to)? I'm not sure, but I guess I will find out in the morning. It certainly doesn't seem like kids who grew up in Blackfoot, Idaho should be packing up and evacuating for a major hurricane, that's for sure.

At this point, the future of the next few days is uncertain. Things definitely don't look great as far as the weather forecast is concerned. I never thought I would anxiously check the National Hurricane Center's updated model that is released every three hours. I tried to live the last three days just like normal, but the fact is, it's been far from it. Today we drove around town wrapping up a few loose ends to see the stores already boarded up and everyone ready to take off. There's definitely a lot of tension in the air. Tyler, of course, is too young to understand what's going on, but is old enough to know that "something" is going on. He's been full of questions that I'm too exhausted to answer. He just knows we're going on a trip and that a hurricane is coming. This evening it started to rain just a bit and he yelled "oh no! A hurricane is coming!". He's picked up on the tension, but as far as he's concerned, he's just excited to go on a trip. And Sam, of course, has no clue that he'll spend the majority of our day tomorrow in a carseat and at this point, I think that pains me to think about more than anything at this point. He hates the car for very long! I'll be very relieved to arrive at our destination in Mississippi tomorrow some time.

With all the uncertainty that remains with this storm, of course my thoughts have been on all the horror stories that I have heard from friends regarding the storm of three years ago. This is indeed my first evacuation, and I have not gone through this before. And I don't like it thus far. You'd like to think that devastation like that of three years ago could never happen again, but deep down you know it is a possibility. So a lot of questions go through your mind and as we took video of everything in our house today, you start thinking of how sad you'd be if certain things were ruined. Some things would be harder than others, but the fact is you truly realize it's all just stuff. And it's all replaceable. The "stuff" that really matters will all be in the car with me early tomorrow morning. And I'm not promising that they're going to like that car ride either!

Well, it's time for bed and I'm doubting I'll get much sleep. And if I survive this with any fingernails remaining, it will be a miracle. But I am thankful for once again for the reminder of what's really important. And really there are only three things that are very important to me right now. And I just sang one a sweet lullaby and put him in his crib for the night and the other I tucked snugly into his bed under his airplane bedspread and kissed him good night. And the other will be taking the captain's chair tomorrow morning for our evacuation. And I couldn't be more grateful that he's by my side.

Adios, Gustav! You got nothin' on me because I've got all the important stuff with me. Although, you have put a rather large pit in my stomach and lump in my throat...

(I'll try to update during the next few days if I can get internet access.)