It Stings

Sam, Grandma, Tyler, and Me (9/24/07)
Well, I've been trying to hold back the tears since yesterday since I knew today was coming. But the tears couldn't be held back any longer and here they come again as I sit down to type this. I suppose the honeymoon is over and it's back to reality. My mom left to go back to Idaho this morning and that makes me sad! We miss her so much already. The weather outside today has been cloudy and rainy off and on and that would pretty much sum up what my emotions have been doing today too. This proved to be my saddest post-baby day when I had Tyler and so far, it looks like the same for me with Sam. It's when my tears start to fall. It's when I almost feel resentment for the thousands of miles of distance between us. It is a lot like ripping off a band-aid. You know you are going to have to do it, but at the same time, you know it's going to hurt and probably sting for a few minutes afterwards.

Of course, I am so grateful for the week she spent here. I couldn't have done it without her. I loved having her here and I feel like I almost get to know her better, if that's possible. She took care of me, she took care of all of us really. She helped tame a wild 2 year old and gave him a lot of much needed attention as we adjust to having two boys to give attention to. She read him books, played trains and watched Thomas the Train movies (I'm pretty sure she now knows the names of all the trains and can sing the Thomas theme song--it's pretty catchy!), she took Tyler for walks around the lake and fed the ducks, fish, and turtles (and a few times, Sam and I even joined them). She kept my kitchen clean, cooked meals, vaccumed my floor, folded laundry, and she kept me company and gave me someone to talk to while I nursed a newborn. She ooh'ed and ahh'ed over my new baby and validated my own opinion that he is simply one of the most beautiful babies to ever enter this world and that he's WAY cuter in person than in pictures. :) She was the extra set of hands that allowed me to take care of myself and gave me time to indulge in things like naps, shaving my legs, plucking my eyebrows, and daily long hot showers! Ahhh! I loved having the time to bond with my mom. I'm sure there will be days that I will wish that I had slept more while I had her help here, but I couldn't because I just wanted to talk to her while I could. I truly believe that having a friend to talk to drives away much of the baby blues for me, so her visit was all the more important. I think there is also an aspect I enjoy because coming from a family of 7 kids, the times were few and far between that I had my mom ALL to myself. I felt this way when she came after Tyler was born and I feel like this again. It's fun to have her to myself for one whole week, even though the rest of the family misses her like crazy! I love you, Mom! I can't thank you enough for coming out and I can only hope I can become half the mother you are. And I hope everyone else in this household can be patient with me as the sting from ripping off the band-aid is still pretty fresh...

And just because I like this picture, here is a new one of Sam today. I am convinced that he is an angel. We love him!