So, you know...I'll have lots of updating to do here over the next few days. But for now, I am just full of mixed feelings. For today is a happy day and a sad day.Happy because it's Mardi Gras today which means a day off for Garrett, and we've been having SO much fun this last week. Happy because my parents and brother have been here since last Wednesday and we've been playing hard (lots of pictures to come).
Sad because I had to say good bye to my parents and Carter at 5:00 this morning. I love the visit, hate the good byes. The house is quiet and feels empty, and I'm not even sure where to begin at accomplishing "normal" again. I think I mentioned once that I'm convinced it doesn't exist. And I'm trying not to think about how long it will be before I see my family again.
Happy day because I have a new nephew as of yesterday (no picture of him yet or I'd post it here). Todd and Hillary welcomed little baby Pierce into the family yesterday morning (three weeks early!) and I just get all happy inside thinking about how excited I am for them to add to their family. I just can't stop thinking about them, and want to call every hour to see how they're all getting along, but of course I have to refrain!But so sad because I just want to be there. I want to hold him. I want to kiss him. I want to sit and talk to Hillary all about it...all about everything just like we do. And all the phone calls just don't cut it. I just feel pretty far away right now and it makes me sad. 90% of the time, I feel very OK with living far away, pretty comfortable in my life and kind of proud of the independence I've achieved, but times like these are the times I hate all that I miss out on. Major family happenings are the times when the distance feels painful enough to sting and the tears are pretty close to the surface. But...
I'm just so happy!
But I'm also sad.
I'm sad, but happy...you get the picture right?
I'm so grateful for the time I was just able to spend with my parents and brother and all the memories we made, and I'm so happy for Todd and Hillary, for a new member in the family--a sweet new baby--doesn't get much better than that. I just have to remind myself of all there is to be happy about because if not, I turn the corner and feel like doing this:
OK, that's all for now. Just had to get that off my chest. I'll go sulk a little bit, maybe shed a tear or two, and then be back to my regular posts in the near future.
7 comments:
Wish you were here too, Beck. I would love for you to see him and maybe take a photo or two!
That's great that you have such awesome family {on both sides!}. And as hard as it is to be away from them I'm sure, you'll always have that connection and you'll never really be out of the loop.
Hopefully one day we'll have a close knit family like that too- we're still waiting on some cousins for Peyton to play with though! :-0
Hey,
I can totally relate, sometimes I feel so homesick when my family calls and they are having a party, getting together, when someone is sick, or when someone has a baby. Then there are times when I enjoy living in the mission field and getting to know people, we also have a great ward.
That is awesome that your family was able to visit, I bet that your boys loved that. It is nice to spend quality time with family members. Little Grant is sure growing up. Enjoy Mardi Gras over there, I bet that is quite an experience.
I know just how you feel. The decision to move to Dallas was tough, but we felt it was right. Thank goodness for phones, blogs, and emails, right?? Can't wait to see all your Mardi Gras pics!
I hear you loud and clear!
Hey!!! I hope your sulking went well... you deserve that! I love to take time out to sulk and I love it even more when I tell people that's what I am doing. Scott just laughs when I tell him... I just want to feel sad for a minute. I love you... sulk all that you need... it really does help! :) I'm glad you had your family down. We were thinking about all of you on Fat Tuesday. I miss you!
Hey!!! I hope your sulking went well... you deserve that! I love to take time out to sulk and I love it even more when I tell people that's what I am doing. Scott just laughs when I tell him... I just want to feel sad for a minute. I love you... sulk all that you need... it really does help! :) I'm glad you had your family down. We were thinking about all of you on Fat Tuesday. I miss you!
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