Mother's Day

So I know, I know...Mother's Day was like forever ago. But that's about where my blogging is at these days. But I just wanted it documented for my sake. It was a great day, something I really needed. It lifted my spirits and reminded me of the blessing it is to have these little ones in my life.

The day started when I was still half asleep and Tyler said "Mom, do NOT get out of bed." Ok, twist my arm. So, I laid in bed, all the while hearing a ruckus in the kitchen. And of course Tyler and Sam kept coming in to "check" on me and make sure I wasn't getting up. And then surprise (yeah, I kind of had it figured out at this point, ha ha!), they came in with breakfast in bed. I was quite impressed with Garrett's breakfast--pan perdu, eggs, bacon, fruit, and OJ. I have to say it was delicious.
And all the while I was thinking...'gosh, I could get used to this kind of treatment!' Tyler also picked out some flowers at the store the day before and had them hiding behind his back when he gave them to me. I have to say it was one of the dang cutest moments ever. He was so excited! And so fitting coming from Tyler as they were called "crazy daisies". I loved them!
And after I had eaten my breakfast feast, the boys couldn't take it any longer and they just HAD to climb up on the bed with me. So there we played for a while before we got up and started getting ready for church.






After church, we came home and got to work on grilling our dinner. Or I should say Garrett got to work on dinner. And while he worked on dinner, the rest of us played. And that usually just means that the boys pull all the random items they can find out of the garage and make a big mess! But they have fun doing it, that's what matters right?


And we always have to take time to do some sidewalk chalk while we grill out. Sam loves to draw with them!


If Sam's not drawing with chalk, he's finding bugs. The boy is obsessed.
And here Garrett's doing what he does best. He's the king of the grill and I am the lucky one who benefits from it. We love to grill out in the summer!
And he had one miniature sized helper too.
Delicious! What a great Mother's Day it was. I honestly just had the best low-key day that I finally got a chance to catch my breath and relax. I haven't done that very much lately. It was quite perfect--other than the moment during Sacrament Meeting when Tyler was being naughty and I was getting mad at him and he says "Mom, don't be mad on Mother's Day." And I couldn't help it and said "well, then don't make me mad on Mother's Day." :) I know, very mature of me, ha ha!


I love these boys, as crazy as they are sometimes! And I couldn't help but think about the responsibility of motherhood and how it has affected me and what I've learned from it. It has been on my mind A LOT lately. One thing is for sure, I love it. It's hard. Like really hard sometimes. But I do love it (even if I have to remind myself of that sometimes, but I do!). From Mother's Day last year to this year, I have been challenged more than ever. Challenged with frustrations and challenged by my kids of course, but more than anything by self doubt and feelings of inadequacy. I have wondered a lot of times why it has to be that the day you are given your baby in your arms, you are also given this big old heavy heap of self doubt. (maybe I'm the only one who has experienced this, I don't know.) The kind of thing where I feel like I am always needing to compare myself to other moms and rate high on the "good mom" scale. The kind of thing where I'm always wondering "am I really doing this right" or "seriously, am I even cut out for this?". And this self doubt comes and goes...is better at times than others. But lately, I'm sure due in part to the fact that my kids have been in some really challenging phases, I have just been burdened with it--to where I am almost brought to tears by comments from others that should've just been ignored. But instead I dwell on them. So, what I'm getting at is this, the more I have thought about it all and how it has been for me, I really realize I need to let it ALL go. Do my own thing, have confidence in my "motherly instincts" and STOP comparing myself to other people. (seriously, why do we moms do that??? It's SO not good!!!) It doesn't matter if I discipline differently than someone else, or let my kids do certain things and not do other things, etc, etc... It is the way I do it and the fact that I love my kids and want what is best for them and am trying to do that with the guidance of the spirit should be enough. And the sooner I can fully grasp that, I can go back to enjoying the journey and living in the moment and loving this phase of life--all challenges included. Because really I love being a mom and feel so lucky to have these boys of mine! I am so blessed!